Smart Women, Silly Choices: Look in the mirror

Smart Woman: “Okay L.A., I need some help. I met this guy on my way home from school on the bus. His name is Travis. I’ve seen him around campus a few times. He is so fine! I know he is a psyche major and he is in graduate school. I have also seen him the sub shop on campus working...I think he is like the janitor or whatever. Anyways, we talked for a few minutes on the bus and exchanged numbers .He’s real cool and very sweet to me. I can tell he like me a whole too. BUT Come to find out he has two kids by two different women. He says there is no drama, but I’m like, who doesn’t have drama when they got baby mamas? I mean, I know I don’t give my two baby daddies drama, but seriously what man do you know that’s is like that? Anyway, I also learned that he does in fact work at that sub shop. Ugh! This is what I can’t stand about these dudes LA! They are all that that and then they bust out all the lame qualities that I just don’t have time for. I want the guy with the luxury car, and the six figure paying job, with no kids, never been married and everything! You know; Already established! After my last divorce, I just don’t have time to make a man. I need him already made”.

Today’s topic for discussion, Smart Women, Silly Choices: Look in the Mirror. This scenario may not be yours verbatim but are you making this silly choice like this intelligent woman? Do you desire a man that has possessions or characteristic that you don’t? I hate to bust your bubble, but things don’t work like that. To often have I encountered intelligent women either far in their career, business owners, community leaders or the best homemakers, that makes poor choices in their dating lives like this one. My advice to this young woman and you if you are similar to her is, Look in the mirror! Take a look at yourself first and circumstances. True, where you are now, you won’t be for long BUT Don’t make the qualification to be with you or even talk to you MORE than what you have achieved yourself. Take a look in the mirror! If you’re living with your relative in order to save money to purchase a home, why can’t he be? If you are catching the bus to work because it make more sense then buying a car, what’s wrong with him riding a bike? Here is the big one, if you have kids STOP disqualifying the dude that got kids too! UGH TO YOU! It isn’t right, and it’s definitely not fair! And quite frankly, my theory on why you want someone that has obtained some of the things you haven’t is either for bragging purposes or you want an earthly savior. Either way it’s pathetic! Being with someone to be whole will leave you in pieces. There is no man (But Jesus if you want to get spiritual) that can repair your childhood hurts or make the scariness of life painlessly perfect. Get a life and come back to reality! Achieve on your own! If you want it, get it! If you strive to be it, be it! God already made man, so quit trying to do it. “I want the guy with the luxury car, and the six figure paying job, with no kids, never been married and everything! You know; Already established!” Girl please, you are a full time student yourself and you have children NOT TO MENTION you was on the same bus with him, why would you give this genuinely interested man a hard time? It sound like you both can support each other. PLUS the way the economy is today, a job is a job! People are being laid off six figure positions and having to start all over. Stop being super picky.

Ladies, you know that there are either a couple of men or at least one man in your life or that you see on a daily basis that you just won’t give the time of day because of some of your superficial qualifications. Think about it for a second. Is he really that bad? How long has he been pursuing you? Here’s a tough one, is he a JUST LIKE YOU (same circumstances, qualities, and even goals; like a mirror) and you just can’t stand it? Trust me I am not ignoring the idea of wanting better then what you have had or wanting more or even that opposites attract. All of these can be fact for you. Or you may have characteristics or possessions that your partner does not, TRUST ME you can still make the relationship work. How? By not demanding that the other person obtain the same traits. Trying to make yall equal. That’s not right! Just like you want to be loved and cherished for who you are, so do they. Men are people too. I know you know that already, but sometimes when you read it; it sinks in a little bit deeper. Cherish a man for who he is.

Challenge

Examine yourself this week ladies and maybe give that guy a chance. Go to lunch with him; give him your phone number. You never know, He may be perfect for you.Make sure you tell me how it goes too.

Let’s pray.

God we know that you are all knowing, all seeing and ever-present. We thank You for that. Lord today help the women that read this blog in their single – walk. Enlighten them in the areas that they are unsure of. Strengthen them in the areas they are weak in and also help them in examining their selves and their choices. Today, Lord forgive them for overlooking the blessings that have passed them by. Open their minds to grasp Your knowledge and plans for their lives regarding marriage and relationships. Make them seen and known by their potential husbands. Lord, we thank you in advance for favoring all of these request. In Jesus name, Amen.

PLEASE COMMENT...I will love to hear your opinions and experiences.

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