Monday, July 12, 2010

Which dater are you?

Let's Talk,

God wants the best for us in every area of our lives. This includes friendships and even relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends. The objective or this blog is to assist you in determining what type of dater you are or going to be.

There are two different types of daters;recreational and relational. The Recreational daters, date for fun, friendship and personality development. You may be a recreational dater if you have a new person to date almost every week. Relational daters also date for fun, friendship and personality development, but they also date purposely for selection of a long term mate. You may be a relational dater if you prefer going out on a date with the same one or two people.

REMEMBER: Neither one should EVER date for popularity or security, that's an absolute NO NO!

It is very important to recognize which dater you are so that you can know how to set the standards for An actual dating relationship.The number one mistakes I have witnessed (and have done) were alternating the two. Whenever you do this, you not only confuses you but you confuse the person you are dating. If you are a recreational dater but posing as a relational dater, you will get bored easily and maybe feel that the relationship is moving to fast, and bail. If you are a relational dater but posing as a recreational dater, you will ultimately try to make the relationship more than what it is and you MORE THAN LIKELY will give more of yourself to secure the relationship which will prob' make the other person bail. These methods all together are not fair or right. Clarity and communication is the fuel that keeps any relationship. Always be clear!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upfront with a person and telling them what type of dater you are. By doing this you not only give the person the things they can expect from you but you can also share with them the things that you want to expect from them. Leaving them with the option to journey that relationship with you or not. It is absolutely better to date the same type of dater(especially if you are a believer in Christ,they should be too)

In closing, Each dating relationship can eventually lead to a healthy marriage.Don't forget that God wants you to have fun while dating so make sure you do! Most likely you want to get married some day but don't pressure yourself with a timeline. Have fun and enjoy the dating life. You'll get to know many great people and be able to identify the qualities you want (and don't want) in your future husband or wife.

Challenge

Today examine yourself to determine which dater you are so that you may be clear when you date.

Let's Pray!

God we thank you for your new graces and mercies everyday. Thank you for giving us the privilege to come to you with all of our cares and worries and cast them on you. This week I ask that you assist your people in making wise decisions regarding their dating relationships. Help them to recognize the people in their life that they are unequally yoked with. Let their list of desires in a mate be according to your will. Help them to Realize, that they have a great advantage because they are seeking Your soul mate while working with Your Holy Spirit within them as a match maker. Lord, we appreciate you for all that you do and have done. We also thank yon in advance for favoring these request. Amen

2 comments:

Candice said...

This is soo true. My self I have confused or yet intertwined the two dating styles. At some point I did realize I confused the two.. I wanted a relationship, yes. But then I would also have friends on the side. I guess that was part of my recreational dating! But, in addition telling someone what you want from them is kinda scary too! When you say you want a relationship it seems to scare them off. I do consider myself a relational dater, but sometimes recreational dating ends up happening

Jennifer said...

I know I am definitly a relaional dater...well used to be since I am married now lol. I hated having to get to know somone all over again. I also hate that begining stage when a couple is trying to determine if the relationship is serious enough to make is exclusive. I like the security of knowing that I am the only girl that my man is dating that way if it didn't work out, it was not because of another girl. Because I am a relational dater, I could only allow men who were recreational daters to be my friends and nothing else.